Wednesday, August 31, 2011


I am packed a ready to go. I am sad because overall this has been a good experience. I lost 11.5 pounds and I am proud. I think I would have lost more if I had not been so stressed and been able to workout more but I am happy. Sad because now I need to cook for myself and as my friends know that is not an easy task. Happy because I can go home and sleep in my own bed and see people that I love. Sad because I have so much more to learn and I hope I can come back to do the program for myself. Happy because, well I learned a lot and though I think I am still going through withdrawls I need to take these things I learned and keep moving forward.

I will be forever changed and I am blessed what I got to do in the program and the people I met and the lessons I learned. I am sure this is not the end but a new beginning.  I will summarize this trip when I am back. More to come...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Is this the end....? Oh hell no!

So we have come to my last day of heaven on earth... Well it is heaven if you think running into a MAC truck head on heaven but who is it for me to say. It has been a ride and a 1/2 or for you old timers an E ride at Disneyland.

I am feeling a bit better than yesterday. I do think because of my diet being too clean and all the stress that this has brought on I think I was detoxing...or maybe my body was telling me "BIG JUICY CHEESE BURGER WITH ALL THE TOPPINGS AND A LARGE FRY AND ONION RINGS"  or maybe not.

Today was a lovely day. We had baked oatmeal, yes I said baked and OMG it was the best. It was as close to bread pudding and with an added dash of soy milk it was to goooooooood. After breakfast we had a hike at White Sulphur Springs. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and in some spot absolutely smelly, but most of the times it smelled like the woods. We saw hawks and ducks flying just hoping the hawks did not spot the ducks. I hiked the whole trail which was about 2. miles. So a side story. I was a bit behind two  thin men of our group and I had mentioned that I had to pee me a river.  They also had to go so they started walking fast. I was a bout 2 mins. behind them. Well, As the life coach I was talking and walking with got to the end spot, we saw the bus, leaving along with a life coach's car right behind. The four of us left kept jumping up and down hoping they would stop but a my luck goes, they did not see us. The doctor who went on the hike with us was kind enough to talk to a grounds keeper at a church to open a bathroom. I was so relieved, I mean it I was relieved.

As the bus came back to pick us up to go to the park I was feeling a bit pissy but I did get over it and had a good laugh considering I could have peed at the graveyard across the street, so I got off lucky.  After lunch we made it to the spa again for a last swim class and steam. It was enjoyable and relaxing.

We we got back I realized I needed to pack and get ready to go tomorrow. I am sad and glad about this. Sad because I liked the people and the scenery was spectacular. Glad because let me tell you this was no vacation!  When I get back I will recap the 10 days. I may even continue to blog my journey. This is not the end, but a new beginning!

Monday, August 29, 2011

C.I.A Cooking and Oh heck I feel crappy

Overall it was a beautiful day...I feel like crap but it was a nice day.

We started the day with a veggie fritata which was of course yummy, then went to a 3 hour lecture on nutrition which was quite informative.  Learned a lot on what to eat, what to buy and later learned how to cook it but more on that later.

After lunch we went to the Culinary Institute which used to be an old winery. The place was magnificent. The history in the place was amazing. We got to see the private kitchens and the old wine barrels and even got to shop in the store. I could have bought the place out but alas no money. It is amazing to watch the student chefs prepare food and it was a blast to go to places that the visitors on the whole do not get to go.

After then tour we went to a health food store and had a tour of it by the head chef Andy who told us how to shop. The reason I said I felt crappy is that, I must have had some reaction like a blood sugar spike or lower because I got hot and clammy and dizzy and sick to my stomach. No it was not menopause but the rest of the afternoon and even now, I do not feel good. Oh well I am hope it is a majors toxin clearing out!

Dinner was special because we made it our self.  Meatless meatballs, tomato topping (fresh) Salad, polenta and the vegan chocolate mouse (no sugar). We got to pick what we wanted to make. I picked the meatballs. Little did I know it was the most work. Feeling to crappy to got into it fully but best part was it turned out. In fact every ones dish turned out. Must make this for my vegan friends soon. 

So I would say more but I need to relax... I hope I feel better tomorrow!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Forgivness and....all the rest.

I am jumbled up with what has been said, not said and what I thought I might have said but said it in my mind.... I believe I left off at the hike where we went to a beautiful site that reminded me of Yosemite. We grabbed a box lunch with a yummy black bean burrito and afterwards went for a hike. We found a blackberry bush where , of course, I got the only ripe blackberry and it was delisioso... Okay not a word so sue me. We then went on a tour of Ellen White's house that the founder of the Adventist religion. Quite and tour and lecture and very interesting.

When I got back I found my client off his patches again which was a small fight but it evened out when he put on a patch when I bribed him that we would get his vitamin's tmr. Okay not the best clinical practise but honestly I am tired.

Annis, so you know the forgiveness lecture was amazing.  We talked alot about how to forgive when the other person refuses to give forgiveness and also when the person is gone. I had revealed a lot about myself which did not surprise the lecturer. He was very compassionate and explained that I had already healed a lot but have a ways to go in forgiving myself. I understood that and did a list of people ,including God and have a paper to assist me through the process which I have been working on. Forgiveness is an amazing thing. If you can only forgive yourself and be tender and compassionate to yourself that is a good portion of the life's battle. Having a tender heart to yourself will bring peace to yourself. Something I will be continuing to work on for many months.. if not years.

Today was an AMAZING day. My client put on the patches and we went down for an early morning yoga class. He made it almost all the way through.. I DID make it through and did all the poses. After a breakfast of hot steel cut oats and quinoa and fresh fruit we sis a class on triggers. It is we did a thing called Soul Collage. In it we looked and some pictures and picked the ones that we felt would assist us though tough times. Sort of like a spirit guide. After cutting out a few pictures we picked a background and pasted on the card sort of like a small treasure map. Afterwards we talked about our cards and what it meant to us personally. I hope sometime I will be able to post them. I enjoyed the process I enjoyed it even more because my client did the whole 2 hours class. YEAH!!!!!

So at lunch was a salad and a buckwheat noodle, tofu Chinese kind of dish and a delightful banana Popsicle we convinced the nurse that it was too hot to do a workout at the lake. We needed to go shopping in town. Man it is hot and she actually agreed to go to town. St. Helena is a beautiful town. Sweet shops and a nice coffee shop. The town does not allow chains to be there so no Starbucks. But I decided to see if I could drink a half caf coffee with soy and no sugar... Did I do it? Did I DO it???????  Yes, and I will have to say it was not half bad. I feel like though coffee in moderation is good but I might need to reconsider a good alternative. Let me think on that.

We decided as a group that working out was bad and going back home was good, so we made it back to the hospital. My client went up to his room and one of the coaches went to the gym with me and we did some resistance work. Overall a good day.... Tomorrow the C.I.A. no silly not the C.I.A.  but the c.i.a.  Let you wonder about that one!!  I am tired and going to a dinner well deserved!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

The blue flu

Today, I am feeling blue.... not upset, not angry, just blue. Last night the lecture was on forgiveness. The man giving the lecture was great and he gave us a lot of good info on how to forgive our self and others. When we went into the lounge to see a movie about forgiveness and talk a little more, I realized I was mad at God. My life has been blessed by so many wonderful angels on earth but for some reason my life has not been so hot. I had blamed God for all the abuse that was heaped on me when I was a child which molded me to this person that is addictive, vindictive, people pleasing and often a doormat for others feelings. I am looking into learning how to please myself, forgive myself and to live a life that I was meant to live not what I thought I would do.

My relationship with God has often been estranged. When I stubbed my toe, I blamed God, when I fell I yelled at God "why me." When I lost my job, I had some choice words to my employer but God was also in the mix. I think God is easier to blame and I can't see Him so I feel safe to explode to God instead of the people or myself who I am really upset with. Forgiving myself for being mad at God is hard, but as the lecturer stated that might be the most important thing I could do.

Tonight is part two of the lecture so we shall see what happens. On the lighter side we are going on a picnic today and a hike which should be fun! I will let you all know the out come.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Car 54 where are you?

The fish lunch was amazing. We started with a tortilla soup with lots of veggies (per usual) and then FISH!!! It was a fish taco on a corn tortilla and some cabbage. For dessert, fruit salad. For once I could not even finish my meal. A person from the group said to take it upstairs for later. Me the food addict did not even think to do that!

Next stop the pool with a wonderful workout at the Napa Valley Spa. It was nice to get into the water and workout. I talked the staff into going into the steam room which had a eucalyptus steam. It was so nice to relax and enjoy.... At 315 we waited for our transportation.  3:30 we were waiting for our transportation.....3:45 they were on the way (5 min drive away)....4:00pm still no van. We had a cooking class set for 3:45 and I was beginning to get ticked off.....4:14 no van .....4:20 the van arrived and we took off like a bat out of hell.  I was so upset I did not want to go to the class because I did not want to walk into the middle of a class without knowing what was going on... After I calmed down, I did go and I learned how to make great Gorp, A green smoothie which was actually good, cous cous with dates for a breakfast and yes it was all good...

Dinner was a Thai stir fry with tofu, purple beans snow peas, nuts and veggies and a yellow miso soup with a ton of veggies in it like cauliflower, and edamame. It was good!  After a tough morning and a good afternoon I am ready for bed but it is only 7:05.  Guess I will go to the lecture on forgiveness...Lord knows I need that!

Fish, what a dish...

So after a traumatic lecture on hormones and the need to have them but do you get the horse kind or the bio identical kind or the, take a pill and keep me from blasting the next person I see kind confused me to no end. I  was a little disturbed with all the  information I am getting here but most of it makes sense. I am tired but overall okay.

So today we got to go to the big farmers market in St Helena with out chef. We had breakfast of greek yogurt fruit and granola and went through the market asking questions about lots of new veggies. We were told today that for lunch we were having fresh fish. FISH. OMG real honest to goodness FISH. We all were hoping for salmon but it will be cod, but I do not care. It is FISH!.  We all got to pick a new veggie to try over the next few days, I picked a lemon cucumber, but we are having also purple beans and lots of greens I have no idea how to pronounce, will let you know later how that went.

Well to day is a busy day and I am not sure when I can get to the rest of it. My client is going to a group so I must leave. But later today a pool class and a cooking class... Let me leave you hanging...

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Oy Vey what a day!

Getting off sugar, caffeine and meat all at once is easy... Yeah easy if you can bite heads off of live chickens to release the tension. WAIT. can't do that I am off of meat! Oh well. Yesterday was at first a wonderful day. Pool, spa, workout, groups then dinner. I use the word dinner loosely because when it came I broke out in tears. We had a baked potato not a BAKED POTATO but a baked potato. I mean it was wonderful chocked with nummy veggies and a Caesars salad with no eggs or anchovies. I cried because I knew there would be nothing more and it was a sparse food day overall. After dinner I went up to my room and one of the life coaches asked if I was okay. Biting her head off would be no good since she would be considered meat so I told her how I was hungry.  She was amazed I did not say anything. She saw how I worked out and was amazed I had not asked for more before this. She ran downstairs to get me another potato.  Just know it was in my room made me forget the fact I wanted red vines.

Last evening group was called Kitchen facials. It is amazing that your skin can look so good with raw oatmeal, lemon juice, yogurt, cucumbers and honey. It is also amazing how dirty a room get with 8 people using oatmeal, yogurt, honey, cucumbers.... It was a nice end to the day.

Oh and the potato?   Ate half of it and threw the rest away!  10 pounds lost in 4 days!!!   Off to lunch!!! I feel a crying jag coming on!!!   :-)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Oh what a beautiful morning....

After a rough day yesterday, today is appearing to be a bit better. Yesterday afternoon  my client was not doing well and had decided to go home. An intervention was done and after much more medication...2 nicotine patches, nic. nasal spray, gum and lozenges he is doing better... I HOPE, since I have been running around trying to get him to the lectures but I guess you can consider running around exercise so I guess it is good. Best part of yesterday is I got a chair massage and since no one took advantage of it I got about 45 mins of a free massage. OMG did I need that.

Overall the food had been really good. It is vegan and so now I am currently off sugar, caffeine and now all meat!.  This is not as hard as it sounds although it is interesting that it takes about 1/2 hour before I get full. I guess the food swells when you are drinking the amount of water in an Olympic size swimming pool a day. At least it is water that is infused with really good things like fruit and spices. Yesterday for lunch we had a salad yet again but it had nuts and beans in it and it was really good. The soup on the other hand was maybe my least favorite. It was a green soup with a ton of veggies but it was very bitter. It is really funny that on the first night we got this really fabulous sugar free dessert and after dinner all of us wait for dessert and wait...and wait... Oh says the chef... the dessert was an anomaly. The look on every ones face was pissed. Great, not cigarettes, and now no dessert. Crap! This morning we had crepes with a pear blueberry topping and fresh berries. Yes an egg less crepe. It was made with soy milk and tofu. I think it was good I am not sure since the berries masked a lot of it!  Of course it was not enough. We were all waiting for the next course but alas there was none.... and lunch is not for two hours!

Today though I am excited because we are going to do swimming off campus at a day spa. I am so looking forward to swimming and a steam!!! The lecture today on exercise was a bit confusing! They believe that interval training is key but you only have to do it every other day for 15mins. They also believe to not eat after working out. Now I am confused but I am willing to see the results doing it their way while I am here! Lost today 1.3 pounds for a total of 7 pounds so maybe I need to shut up and keep doing!

Everyday I am grateful for the beautiful views and the clean air.  This is truly a beautiful place, well if it wasn't in a hospital but not complaining..okay maybe a little but give me a break 4 days without my crutches I am doing WELL!!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Birthdays and Bombshells

First I need to wish my best friend HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!  I wish I could be there to celebrate! Love you lots and miss you.

So the last 24 hours have been filled with massive learning curves and a massive headache. Getting off sugar...hard, giving up animal up my coffee-caffeine ...HELL! Overall I am learning with a little experience I could easily go vegetarian. I had this great whole wheat pasta last night with "meatballs" It consisted of every nut from walnuts and almonds to pistachio and mixed with figs. It was so good and very filling. We had a quinoa and farrow hot cereal this morning which took me a few bites but by the end I liked it along with some fresh fruit.  Along with the water intake and the fact I could pee me a river every 30 mins, I have lost 5 pounds. Whoooooooo!

The bombshell, came to a surprise to me but I am sure not to my friends. The lecture last night talked a lot about right and left brain function. Also if you are doing something against how you internally are you can become very fatigued.  Insight???? I should not be doing a job that involves mental health and I need to be doing something creative! Wow, I knew I was tired but let me tell you this was a big  AH HA moment!

I am so exhausted doing what I had can you imagine what would happen if I got creative? I hear the staff calling me so more later!.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Breakfast, bon-bons, Basements and Boo Boos

After a wonderful nights sleep...well as good as I sleep, I awoke to my client telling me he was locked out of his room last night for three hours... Rough start to the morning but I figured it was still going to be a wonderful day, no I mean it no sarcasm here. Being off of sugar which I am now naming the demon from hell and caffeinee which is his mistress I am doing okay, except for a slight headache.

Breakfast was again yummy, Greek yogurt with a homemade granola and seasonal fruit. They also had wheat toast with almond butter and pear butter. It was so good I wanted seconds..Oh yeah....portion control!. During breakfast my client was sleeping trying to fill out paperwork so I had him go back to the room and I headed to the gym after the shoelaces broke when I put the shoes on...(yes it will be a good day, Yes It WILL be a good day)

So the gym is not Sports Club but as my trainers have said time and time again, you can workout anywhere. Okay no rowing machine but I biked up hills and did the elliptical for 30 mins and 15 of weights. During the workout I was finding my left foot really aching. I had stepped on a piece of glass a couple of weeks ago and I thought I had gotten it out but alas it hurt. The boo boo was really painful and being at a hospital and can't get anyone to look at it seems odd but... Dr. J at the rescue. Got some ointment and some band aids and well still sore I will live.

After the gym I go to the clients room to be sure he gets to his appointments. He answers the door half asleep. At least he slept, me not so much. Now I know we are in a hospital setting but when one tells you to go to c103 I would think the room is on floor C, wouldn't you? Yes you would, I know it!. We go to the elevators to the c level and lo and behold  it is the basement, morgue, and storage (pun intended). The look on the woman's face seeing live people startled her. Hell it startled us. Find out the room we needed was next door to our rooms. We went walking through the hospital, like a man refusing to ask for directions. He is now in the hands of the doctors while I have a needed break.

So are you wondering about the bon bons in the title.  As it goes, the gift shop which is really nice has home made  bon bons and caramels setting on the counter. Sugar free, Sure it is...not! I am dreaming of bon bons,  it has been only 26 hours and 37 mins but who's counting!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

When pigs fly Part II

Apparently I do not know how to blog. I tried to continue my thoughts but, I could not edit it. Please forgive meblem I , I am not on sugar and I am computer friendly not literate.

Okay first dinner was a success. We had Pharoh or farrow, or heck a tasty protein packed grain with veggies and a tossed salad. Dessert was a silken tofu with bittersweet cocoa and agave!  Okay, this was a vegan meal and I must say it was quite tasty.

On the other hand if I could bite the heads off of some of these people, I might get a bit more protein and the satisfaction that unless they have a sugar problem I still am following my plan. Sorry guys, smokers suck!  Then again I am sure giving up sugar and caffiene makes me a bit testy. Oh and it seems like I am also getting off TV since there are so few channels. I think the withdrawls from Sy Fy , HBO and lifetime has made me a grouchy girl!

Headache has started so I am going to bed and it is only 8:37....38....39..... Goodnight!

When pigs fly ...

If pigs could fly then there would be pork in the tree tops in September. Now that I have my attention....Man it is going to be a very interesting week. Already people are going through the smoking withdrawals and people without a cigarette can be well how shall I put it..... strange... Not mean (yet ) just edgy and boy do they eat. The program put out some wonderful non fat hummus and what is called energy balls ( I do have things to say about that but for our younger viewers I will keep it clean.) If you could snort hummus like coke these people would do it. I personally am stopping sugar and if I can I will do caffiene too. But with Starbucks in the cafe it might be a physical impossiblity. I am apparently the only one with food issues so watching people eat will be interesting. The director of the program was so sweet she said I could all the lectures which they normally don't do. She must have seen the look of I can eat you in one bite that caused her to change her mind. At this point in time I have had little to eat and the most water I have had all year.... They put out this water with limes, lemons, oranges, mint and ginger.  I think I overdosed on it!

Morning day one!!!

My God who the heck invented mornings should be shot..... Waking up at 4am is not an easy task when you take a 1/2 a bottle of xanax and an ambein but as some of you know this has been a stressful week. My primary client has decided he wanted rattlesnake meat. Why, I can't guess but beef jerky did the trick so I could rest easy... Oh wait he decided to bolt the day before and I could not find hm. His mom is hysterical and all I could think of was... There has got to be a better job out there... Next my mother's elevator goes out but now she is stuck in her apartment. Oh and EDD decided to give everyone on unemplyment gift cards... I will tell the best thing the state can do is give me the gift of a job... Yeah like a gift card pays the rent... Okay... that was the rant. I am here in Beautiful, Napa, no Sonoma oh hell I have know idea where I am but it is very pretty. My room looks over a wooded area. So who cares if it attatched to a hospital with screaming patients and sad sick people. We are so far removed from their misery. We are a floor down!!!  More later I just want to see if this works and then I will be more serious!  Okay maybe more serious!